A personal reflection on learning to slow down, let go, and listen differently — three shifts that changed everything about caring for mum.
A change of pace
Learning to be a better carer for my mum has taught me something simple, but powerful.
I have to leave my pace at her front door.
In her home, in her world, I need to adapt to her rhythm.
Now, before I walk in, I pause. I take a breath. I arrive more calmly.
It's a small shift, but I'm proud of it.
And it makes a difference to both of us.
Accepting what I cannot fix
It took me a long time to accept that I can't fix my mum's dementia diagnosis.
There is still so much I can do, and so much I do do, to support her.
Letting go of what I can't change allows me to focus on the small things that truly matter.
A smile. A moment of connection. A twinkle in her eyes.
It doesn't happen every time.
But when it does, it means everything.
A new way of listening
Our conversations are quieter now.
Listening is rarely about words. It's about tone, facial expression, body language.
Anxiety, peace, happiness, comfort — they're all there without a single sentence being spoken.
As mum's speech deteriorates, her ability to communicate hasn't disappeared.
I just have to listen differently.